Robbie doesn't like Heroes
by PrinceSal
Summary: Well obvious title isn't it? This is a short story about Robbie's dislike for Heroes. Especially one named Sportacus. Warning: Sportarobbie Spobbie. Don't like it? I did warn you.


Disclaimer: I do not own LazyTown, if I did than Robbie would be jumping into Sportacus' arms even more than he does already... and it'd be a much higher rating.  
AuthorNote: This is pure drabble that just popped into my head. It is also my first LazyTown fic. Enjoy

----Begin----

I don't like Heroes.

Yes, yes, I know everyone knows this. But just because everyone knows this doesn't mean that it shouldn't be common knowledge. They call me a villain for it, did you know that? Is that just because I don't like heroes? Does that make me the villain? Oh okay, I guess it makes sense when I try to go about my evil schemes every chance I can get... and if I do say so myself, they are very evil indeed. And enticingly clever. Just because they fail sometimes does not mean that I am going soft. The book said I was doing it just right, of course they also mentioned that when the Hero defeats the villain they are suppose to never be seen by again. Heroes don't follow the books.

I don't like Heroes.

Whenever something bad happens it is always my fault, just because loud noises give me migraines, and I am not a people person, to many people all at once make me nervous, and I like little children even less. I've gotten hives from the little brats. But if I ever complain about them they just complain, 'Robbie Rotten!' 'You're so rotten Robbie!' blah blah blah. And then their hero comes down and they banish the Villain. Except I'm never banished. Instead I get hands on the hips, a soft shake of the head, and a smile, and glittering blue gems in those pretty blue elf eyes. No! Not pretty, not pretty!

I don't like Heroes.

Because when you try to do something really bad they only smile and say 'Oh Robbie...' has he ever called me rotten? Of course he did, in chorus with the children, the annoying children that he makes even louder. He makes them move around, and shout, and are always active, and laughing. It hurts my head, and then they eat those retched vegetables... and they get mad at me because I don't eat vegetables, and then I try to kick their Hero out. But I can't help it, the books say I'm suppose to, that library book that I still have to return... that's pretty evil. I bet Sportakook would think that is bad, and give me some strange lecture about responsibility.

I don't like Heroes.

Especially when they acted like heroes to everyone... when they held you in their arms when you are sleeping, and saved you from trees, and made sure that children didn't wake you up when they knew you were sleeping, when they smiled at you with that all knowing look, when they tried to explain why you were how you were to little children that didn't understand, when they rescued you from trees, or from billboards, or other stupid stuff that you've done. Or more so when they just smile at you when you come up to them and kick them in the shin, rubbing at it even though it probably hurt. And then when you blushed and ran away they chased after you. And grabbed your hand, and asked you what's wrong, 'what's wrong Robbie?', with those innocent blue eyes... and when you rip off their hat and reveal their elf ears and all they do is run a hand through the golden curls, and you hear your mouth moving without your brain. Telling them what's wrong.

That's when I really don't like Heroes.

Because they grin when you mouth spits out that you love them, and that you want to be the Villain because you always see the Hero... but not get the meanness that comes with it. They still grin, and then when their innocent eyes travel downwards to your lips and they press them against yours with passion, holding so tightly onto you that you are getting crushed, and the confusion in your own mind, and the whimper against their lips, and their goddamn crystal goes off... and it is because you need help... and they still just smile at you, and kiss a little softer till the light fades, till your knees give out, and they hold you up, and you are nearly purring.

Well I really don't like Heroes.  
Even though I happen to be in love with one.

I returned those books; they laughed and waved off the fee when Sportacus was with me.

Damn Heroes.


End file.
